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Astral Romance 
17.-toukok-2020 01:48 am - Somewhat friends only
I never liked friends only journals, they never tell anything about people and I never wanted to have one, because then my emotional exhibitionism wouldn't bloom :P
But there are things (and people) who basically force me to do this, although still not fully.

So from now on (or for some time already) most of the posts in this journal will be friends only, i.e. posts about my personal life and activities. Only something random and harmless will be left open.
Comments to be added.

Yes, I'm a bitch.

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22.-maalisk-2010 10:29 pm - Starfuckers Inc
Posted an entry about groupies at the Music Photocalypse blog right here: http://www.music-photocalypse.net/blog.php
12.-tammik-2010 10:55 pm - Music blog
We finally started a blog at Music Photocalypse. It was my idea, since I felt it was boring and unfair to torture you with my stupid music-related blabbering, while most of you couldn't care less. And I still have a lot of music wisdom to spill :D

So here it is, check it out if anyone's interested, subscribe and comment (you don't need to register for this): http://www.music-photocalypse.net/blog.php
27.-elok-2009 08:55 pm - Fuck me, I'm famous!!
I had my 15 seconds of fame today, starting from the moment I woke up and further into the day. The link to my NW report was posted at blabbermouth.net and from there at numerous websites dedicated to metal all over the world, Metal from Finland included. Funny thing, Metal from Finland didn't post it, even though our webmaster sent the link to them even earlier. But once Blabbermouth made it public, there they all were. I mean ffs, it was even posted at Wacken Radio's website!!!!! I had a major jawdrop for the whole day. More than 10 000 people visited our page today and luckily you can't comment there (yet), but I've read stuff at other websites and I've never seen SO many people sucking on to my words SO much :DD Well fortunately most of them said it was a good report, but bitched about Anette and whatever other crap you get in any Nightwish-related discussion. Especially since I know, that every single person that bitched, would actually die to be able to go to that gig (at least one of them) and see it all with their eyes. People are stupid.
I know this material was pretty exclusive, since we were the only journalists from Helsinki there, the rest were people from local newspapers and none of them would actually bother to write in English and post stuff online. So cool, eh?
28.-heinäk-2009 05:05 pm - My new musical addiction
Thanks to J. Can't stop listening to this song:

9.-heinäk-2009 10:49 pm - Ruisrock 2009
This is going to be a very long post, most likely. I just need to let it all out already, because there's never a suitable enough time for this. I am writing this post not to brag or make anyone jealous, I have bragged it all out already :P I am writing it to have my emotions mentioned somewhere, so that some day I could read it all through again and revive those amazing moments in my life. It is up to you whether to read it or not, you already saw the teasers.

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3.-heinäk-2009 10:51 am - A quickie
I'm off to Ruisrock this weekend. Will be back late at night on Sunday. Then on Monday there will be some unpacking and packing again. Seeing KoRn on Monday and on Tuesday morning I am flying home for 3 weeks. There will be plenty of time for updates then.
20.-kesäk-2009 07:44 pm - Little bits of this and that
This week I have applied for the extension of my residence permit. It took me about a month of procrastination, trying to push that moment further away and about 3 days of panic. I think I have bureaucracyphobia. I was standing in the Immigration Police office, waiting for my turn, having my heart beating in my throat, looking at people of all possible races and colours around me and thinking how goddamn open-minded people who work there should be. I'd die.

This weekend it's Juhannus (Midsummer) and most of the population of Helsinki left for their summer cottages or wherever. I feel like leaving the city for a day or two as well, but not yet, maybe in two weeks. We went for a long windy walk to Seurasaari today and watched some 'traditional Finnish dances' for a short while only to be surprised how much they ressemble that of Russians, even the music sounds the same. After our feet got really tired and we have discussed all of the misfortunes of our personal lives and planned all possible plans of conquering the world of Finnish metal scene, we got on the tram and went to Katajanokka. It was even more windy and cold. We walked at the seaside for a while and once again, for 1874637534th time I thought to myself that some day! some day I will live in a very beautiful old house with the seaview.

It takes about 10-15 minutes to get to my place by bus from the centre or about 20 minutes by tram. But I like trams the most, they give me time and inspiration to wander off in my thoughts, looking blankly at the roofs of the houses passing by or some random people. Because of the holiday, there are very few people on the streets these days. While I was on a tram on the way home, I saw a company of 3 people walking down the street. One of them was kind of a cute guy, he was the closest to the road and I looked at him, without even fully realising it as I was thinking god knows what. And he caught my glance and almost stopped walking as the tram passed by. I laughed at that and got back to thinking about everything and nothing.
I am really pissed off at the moment.
You know, when you work hard on something, when you put a lot of time and strength into it, and then all you get is only negative feedback. All the time. From people whom you consider to be your friends. Now that gives a lot of motivation, doesn't it?

I know that once you get into a new area of something, like music business for instance, you feel that you're so cool. But people who have been there for ages and have gone through all this stuff, know that you aren't really cool at all. And somewhere deep down you realize it yourself, that there's still a lot to learn and after some time things won't seem the same way they used to. But still you get excited about every little step, because everything is so new for you. However, all those 'experienced' people feel that they have the right to spoil it all for you, to smash it in your face, that what you do is just crap that nobody needs, that your pictures suck and what you write sucks also. And it doesn't bother anyone that you have just started, they HAVE to get you down no matter what.

I have spent a whole fucking day yesterday, working on the Poets of The Fall interview, just to hear in the morning 'Gosh, what have you written here? I'll have to re-write almost everything now! This doesn't go in magazines, this is wrong and that is too'. And not a single word of encouragement, except for 'It was the same when I started'. I mean, yeah, I understand I should be told about all of my flaws to be able to work on them, I agree. But a little good word here and there would show me that there's still hope. Otherwise I just don't understand what the fuck for am I wasting my time?

I still don't understand whether I belong in this whole thing at all. There are so many lies everywhere that I already feel dirty just by reading them. I can't be like that, I can't come up with lies that would make people think I am so cool. I hate it.
Either I'll just clench my teeth and go through this tunnel or I'll quit this crap for good. At the moment it doesn't make any sense to me at all.

And a picture to go with my mood:
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